The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching bokeh so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the bokep ‘miaulement’ memek (the delectable French word for bokep caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, memek she rolled her eyes and crot declared the woman an ‘actrice’, bokeh porn or bokeh crot sex worker.

Now, crot bokep according to this crot new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, bokep it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and bokeh all men dread porn – the crot louder the bokep cry of ecstasy, crot the greater bokep the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, porn you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: porn there’s sex as performance art, memek and bokep sex as genuine intimacy. And porn when a woman is genuinely aroused, crot memek trusts her partner and crot is not fearing for bokep a fragile male ego, bokep she’s far more likely to crot gently sigh memek and bokeh porn moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian porn hotel.

In my memek days bokep editing The Erotic Review magazine, memek female contributors regularly confessed to porn faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional bokeh basis, porn they’d explain, memek so they could make their partner feel crot happy, crot while conserving their energy for crot other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study crot by two researchers from the University of bokep Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and crot ‘manipulation’, porn and porn memek that women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to bokep encourage their partners over the finishing line, bokeh so bokep to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, crot the greater the chance the orgasm crot is being faked (Stock Image

It memek was like saying: bokep ‘I’m enjoying this, bokeh but can you porn get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, bokeh ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if crot your sex education comes from porn, bokeh where loud always equals better.

bokep As a woman from Sunderland crot said in 2014 after bokep neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned memek out their TVs: bokep ‘As far as I’m concerned, crot that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, bokeh only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In crot their book, bokep Sex At bokep Dawn, porn Christopher Ryan and bokep Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy crot during sex – porn based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and memek keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, crot I can understand bokeh the need to advertise. But if you’re not, crot porn then men should take heed: bokeh the best bokep sex may just be the bokeh quietest.

Paris